BTW! silver tape

i had to write a new one about silver tape because i hate it to death.

food mom and sleep mom got together in the food room and were laughing about something. so i came in because it is my room too and food mom picked me up and put a piece of silver tape on the bottom of my foot. i was very unhappy and fought with it and i finally got it off. it was extremely unfun.

and then later, sneeze mom came in and so food and sleep mom did the tape on my foot again. what the flip? i was so full of misery that the tape went off quick. i am so mad just remembering.

BTW! boxes

i am knowing i said something about boxes once. but that was a very long time ago. also. i am not thinking of the same boxes. i am thinking of unhappy boxes. boxes that fill me with misery and other ungood emotions.

boxes made of paper. thick paper. hard paper. mom calls them cardboard. all the moms do. there was one that sleep mom put between the couches for me and i liked it because it was all open and whatever. but food mom came home one night with other boxes and silver tape. omg silver tape is evil. and she took the tape and little boxes and attached them to my big box. and then she put a round box on it too. and there was two ways in. the side which had the round box, but it is very small. and the top, which is square and large but very high up. i was not impressed. and then she put me inside of the box. i was unaware of what to do. the hole beside me was too small. until i went out and realized it was not too small.

but i hate this new box. i hope it goes away.

BTW! little aunt

i have a little aunt. she does not live with me. or she would be a mom. so she is an aunt.

she is smaller than any of my moms. and she smells nice. she is the small human i found that day. the one who fed me a lot of food. the one food mom got me from. yeah. she is my little aunt.

she has been coming over a lot. i like that. she pets me and tells me to love her. and she holds me and stares at me. it is very fun. sometimes food mom tells her to stop paying attention to me and to pay attention to her. how silly.

i most certainly the center of her attention because of my awesome manliness.

by the way. clean mom has started saying i am not as cute as i used to be. and while i think that cute means not manly. i do not like that i am less cute than i was. i am totally cute. and totally manly. they can be the same thing. i tried to tell her of her mistake but she ignored me. so i shouted about it for a few hours the other night. i think all my moms got the message.

people simply have to listen when i talk.

BTW! rocks

so. sneeze mom. who has been missing for a very long time. has these rocks. they live in a big glass box by the kitchen counters. which i am not allowed on when moms are home. but i totally walk all over them while they are gone.

but the rocks. they are very boring. sneeze mom calls them tortississ. sleep mom calls them turtles. food mom calls them tortles. i am so confused. they are not tortississ or turtles or tortles. they are rocks. that is it. why do they pretend these rocks are alive when they have me. who is totally alive. and softer than a rock. softer than two rocks. i am so much better than rocks.

but sometimes they move. a little. a lot. it's very confusing. usually rocks do not move.

maybe they are alive. these tortississles. but i doubt it.

i am not allowed to stand on their box, though. when i do, i get thrown off. i am also not allowed to touch the tree beside the box. is it their tree? can rocks own trees? i hate these rocks.

they steal my moms.

BTW! sand box

something has happened to my box of sand. it is different. it has grown a shell. like the rocks in the box. my box has a shell. i object. i think.

actually, the shell is not so bad. it is making my box private. awesome. the only unawesome thing is that it is not my original box. it is a new one and therefore does not smell like me. how unamazing. but the shell is so nice. and it makes the box dark and my own. i'd like to see food mom dig in it now. i have foiled her. it was so smart of me to get the box a shell. i am so amazingly smart. which is what cats are. smart.

sleep mom is calling me a liar again. she does that a lot. she says i lie in my blog here. i think she is the liar. i hate her lies. they are stupid and so obviously lies. she is a not good liar. her most recent lie is to call me the liar and say that i did not decide to get the shelled box of sand. she says she thought of it and bot it. what is bot? i think that is a made up word. bot. dumb.

so much dumb and lies. i am so offended i can not even handle it. i am probably going to jump on clean moms clothes, which appear to not have my hair on them. which is terrible. if she does not wear my hair and my scent, how will other people know she is mine? what is some male human tries to take her? my hair will inform him of his mistake and he will most surely back away from my mom. who is mine. all of them are mine.

BTW! teeth

i love to run around my house. it is the best obstacle corse ever. it has big stairs and little stairs and big couches and walls. and i just run and run. i jump on the couches and fall behind them because they are not all easy to grab with my feet.

but one time, i was running around and being awesome when i messed up. i jumped to get on one of the slippery couches and i fell off. and usually, when i fall off stuff, i land on my feet and leap away like the awesome i am. but this time i did not land on my feet. there was no time to get my feet the right way. instead i landed on my head. actually, i landed on my face. and not on the carpet. i landed on the table by the slippery couches. my face landed on it. actually, the table reached out and grabbed my face. it hit me and made one of my amazing teeth fall out. and my mouth tasted like metals. and the tooth was on the floor. and i was so unhappy. i cried. and no one was home to console me. so i was angry. and i ran around some more. then i took a nap and felt better. i then misplaced my tooth. i want it found so i can get it back in. please to find it.

also, find the mouse i probably killed. food mom said she found a mouse in my little box, but i did not eat the mouse. i would remember that. hm. food mom said little box, but i think she meant my box of sand.

oh. she said she did not say little. she said litter. i am not sure what litter is. i do not understand. please learn to speak right, food mom.

BTW! water bowl

sleep mom and food mom said it would be good to use btw for my titles. it is innocent they said. i am not sure what innocent is. is it manly? i suspect it is. they would not give me unmanly things. my collar is black, which is way manly. the bell is not very manly though... i try often to remove it. anyway. btw it is. which stands for by the way, if you did not know. you may be lacking in smarts. being a cat, i have a very lot of smarts.

i may have mentioned once a long time ago that i have a very large water bowl in the water room. it is very large. well. i was shocked to discover i have not only one big water bowl, but three. but one of those bowls is in sneeze moms room and that is not allowed. that frustrates me.

the one down the stairs is very full of water and perfect for drinking. when it is open. i dislike it being closed. all the time.

but the one that is up the stairs. stairs which are very good for running up and scaring food mom. the one up the stairs is amazing. it spins the water around and around and makes sucking noises. it swirls the water. it's awesome. i love to watch and watch. today i was waiting for the swirling but it wouldn't come, so i stepped in the bowl to check it out and suddenly the water came swirling. clean mom and food mom were there and they were laughing at me. my feet were wet. it was not even a little funny. not even a little at all.

i also suspect there is a thing to touch to make the water swirl. i shall find it and make it mine.

???! obnoxious

i had to ask food mom how to spell obnoxious. i thought it was obnokshuce. sorry for being wrong. i am not so sure i am wrong, though. but who am i to argue with mushy food.

food mom also says i should not use omg in my titles. she says it means something i should not say. i'm not sure what she thinks it means. but seriously, who am i to argue with mushy food. so i guess i will just fine a new one. i am not a laugher out louder. or a what the flipper. i do not roll on the floor with laughs either. i run out of big letter words quickly... i need to run around. brb.

that was a good run. i possibly killed one of my colorful mice. it has vanished. last seen in box room. please return to me if you find it. please to be finding it. but the run around was good. i have not found a good big letter word though. that frustrates me.

not being allowed to put omg anymore makes me feel like there is something obnoxious chasing me. like a bottle of rocks or a bottle of big water. both of which exist. in my house. it is the worst. ever. worse than the big moving box.

sleep mom has the bottle of big water. it is tricky. the bottle is small and you don't know there is water. and suddenly water comes out and it goes everywhere and you are all wet and it is so not fun and i hate it. and she got two. i hate the water in the bottles and i especially hate it on me. food mom has the bottle of rocks. she shakes it at me. it is very loud. very. and i don't really understand how she got the rocks in it. and i am sure the rocks will fly out. also, i am unsure when it will shake. or why. she shakes it at me when i try to talk to her feet. and when i try to go out the big door. i hate bottles. a lot.

today was not a whole bad day. i did get into sneeze moms room. it was awesome. a little boring. but awesome.

speaking of rooms. we have an echo room. it is dark and cold and mysterious. i think someone lives in there. no, i am sure someone does. i mean, a big someone. because sometimes the room shakes from behind the door. and it is roaring so loud and screaming. i think the big someone kills people. that idea is scary. even more scary is that my moms go in that room. daily. this morning food mom went in for a very long time. and while she was there the big someone started to scream and roar and shake and i was so worried for my mom. because she feeds me. not that i like her. i totally don't. i also think sleep mom is crazy because she is always sticking her head in the echo room. probably to see if the big someone is awake or something. she doesn't do it very long and always locks the door after. i worry about her doing that because she has an especially awesome smelling head. face. area.

so i decided to save my moms. i went into the echo room twice today. yes. twice. and both times sleep mom pulled me out. she must be very scared of the big someone. who is a very good hider. i could not find the big someone. ever. i tried to locate him the first time and failed. and sleep mom threw me inside. but i was determined to save her and went back later. i tried to convince her to let me save her and even tried to escape her but she caught me and threw me back and then she stayed in herself. i was very worried about her. i was sure it ate her and i was begging the big someone not to because she smells like goodness and is very soft. but the big someone did not eat her. he let her go. and she came back to me.

i am determined to kill and eat that big someone and save my moms.

OMG! feet

ok. the moms have funny feet. not like mine at all. furless. longer. softer. weirder. i didn't notice them at first, but now i want to catch them. i think they are so strange. they are always changing too. one minute they are pink another they are white and kind of fuzzy. and other times they get hard black shells on them or colorful coats. it's just too much. i have to talk to those feet and tell them they should not be so changing.

i tried to talk to food moms feet yesterday. but she didn't like that. they threw me into the hall. but i didn't give up. i kept trying. and then threw me again. further. i was frustrated. i went into sleep moms room to sulk.

but there were a lot of feet over yesterday. at first, a very small human with little everything came and he chased me around and sometimes he was gentle and sometimes he hit me. i started avoiding him. but the small thing would not go away. i thought clean mom would put him away somewhere. clean mom is the mom who was new. but anyway. then food mom put me in the box room. with my food. and my toys. and my sand box. and they left me there. for a very very long time. i could hear strange noises from outside the room. sometimes food mom came with humans i had never seen. and they'd pet me and think i was cute. i am not cute. i am super manly. one of her friends smelled like two cats. i will meet those cats.

i was let out though. and then fed. and then i chased these floating strings and are all over the house. they are still here. hanging there. they are curly. and attached to the high end is a big round ball of color. i am confused.