Thursday, October 30, 2008

BTW! bags

i love bags. omg. i love them. when i see a bag i have to run over as fast as cattily possible and investigate. i stick my nose in it. and see where it has been. usually they have been outside, which is pleasing. and i am always so excited, i stick my whole head in. sometimes i get stuck. other times, i just jump in and hang out.

but sleep mom has been mad at me lately about bags. she shouts at me and claps her hands in the air and it makes loud noises and i hate it and i run away from her. i am full of unhappy feelings for those clapping motions. and the hissing sound she makes. but she is mad because of something she calls piddling, and i call marking my turf. which is most bags.

last night she totally threw me off of a bag mid-mark and right towards food mom, and looked very angry. i was upset. i hid under the light box. i was pursued there. it was very scary. but now, i am angry at them for yelling and throwing me. i will go tell them of my anger.

brb.

i am back. i expressed myself all over the house as vocally as i could. and they ignored me. so i will go hide around some corners. they cannot ignore me when i am on their feet eating them.

btw, food moms feet are blue today. i am concerned.

BTW! standing

on occasion, i have to sit on my back legs to see on the top of tall things. sometimes i try to see on the top of my moms' heads. i often do not do well there.

and much very less often, i stand on my back feet. yeah. like moms' do. and the other day i was trying to look out the window in clean moms room, and i stood on my feet because it is very high, and clean mom started laughing at me. i have noticed she laughs at me a lot. she does not respect me.

i do not like being laughed at because i feel much less tough than i am.

so i do extra awesome things to improve her image of me. like in the early morning, i go to check on her and her door is closed. i open it for her so she does not have to. and when i get inside and she does not move, i am worried that she has died in her sleep so i holler at her and then she pulls me onto the bed. i am so glad she is not dead that i tell her how much i love her not dead face. she does not like that though.

which leads me to believe clean mom does not respect me or love me.

although, she must love me more than food mom. all she does is yell at me for getting on the counters and ignores my talking.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

BTW! beds

hi. i have been way busy being awesome. sometimes i forget i have this. and moms are not always letting me use their computers.

but recently sleep mom has not been so letting me in her room. i have been very vocal about that and it paid off. clean mom let me in her room now. it is so awesome. it is good to be reminded that i am the man of this house.

so clean moms bed is super soft and when i step on it, it sinks under my muscle. but sometimes it eats me. it's really bad and things that are unfun but not scary. do not call it scary. anyway.

i like to hide under her bed and hunt her feet or things that hang off of the bed. but sometimes nothing comes by, but it is very clear that they are on the top of the bed. and since i am in the very back of the under the bed, i decide to not go out the low way. i jump up. there is a space between the bed and the wall and it is pretty perfect for jumping. and it makes clean mom jump and she is scared. i love it with a lot of feeling.

but sometimes, it does not work. i get up, but do not stay up. i can't find a grabbing place and go back down. then clean mom laughs very much and i am bitter.

i feel bitter now. and sleep mom is calling me emo. i am not sure what it is, but after a stern talk to her a while back about my manliness, i am sure it is extremely manly. and tough. i feel so emo.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

BTW! outside

back when i was very young and did not live here with my moms i lived outside. since i came here i have not been outside much. moms don't let me out. first they thought i would run away but i proved them wrong the first time i snuck out. i came back. they understood. i know they did. but i still am not allowed outside.

food mom says it is because of flees. oh. fleas. there is an a. which is stupid. she says fleas get on me when i go out there. i am not so shure. but i am not so shure or what fleas are. mom says that they are small and black and they bite my skin. i think i understand now. i hate those things. they are outside? i am unhappy about this. who takes care of the outside? they should not let fleas be there.

recently food mom has been holding me down and putting very stinky drippy stuff on my back where i cannot clean. it is very annoying. she says it is to keep fleas away but i am still itching. she says i cannot go outside anymore unless she can find a way to keep the fleas off of me. i don't like fleas. a lot. they make me itch and hurt and they keep me from going outside.

that is reminding me of the new scary thing sleep mom got. it is a can of loud. it sits by the door to outside and if i get too close to the door while it is open, one of my moms will grab the loud and let it out. at me. it hisses at me and i can feel it's angry very cold breath. i am not accepting of this can of loud. it needs to go away.

i think my moms are getting up so i need to get their attentions.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

BTW! flying thing

ahhhh! there is a new thing in my house.

so i killed the feather a long time ago. i tore it apart. and it was gone. dead. i won. and it was delicious as i knew it would be. and after i beat it. a new challenger came. it is still here. it has a million legs or arms or tails. or all of those things. and they are curly and colorful. and they are weird. they flying around my house. they are like the tails balloons have. i think they maybe be the same thing.

but this is not the new thing i am thinking of. no. not at all. this new thing is very new. food mom brought it home tonight. i saw it and knew it was going to be very good at fighting me and i instantly attacked. mom was mad at me. i think i clawed her leg. she shut me in the bathroom and when i came out the thing was right there. i think she shut me in to let it out of its box. i hate being shut in places. but i am not shut in often.

i have been fighting the thing since it was put up. a very long time. an hour food mom says. i will go fight it some more.

BTW! silver tape

i had to write a new one about silver tape because i hate it to death.

food mom and sleep mom got together in the food room and were laughing about something. so i came in because it is my room too and food mom picked me up and put a piece of silver tape on the bottom of my foot. i was very unhappy and fought with it and i finally got it off. it was extremely unfun.

and then later, sneeze mom came in and so food and sleep mom did the tape on my foot again. what the flip? i was so full of misery that the tape went off quick. i am so mad just remembering.

BTW! boxes

i am knowing i said something about boxes once. but that was a very long time ago. also. i am not thinking of the same boxes. i am thinking of unhappy boxes. boxes that fill me with misery and other ungood emotions.

boxes made of paper. thick paper. hard paper. mom calls them cardboard. all the moms do. there was one that sleep mom put between the couches for me and i liked it because it was all open and whatever. but food mom came home one night with other boxes and silver tape. omg silver tape is evil. and she took the tape and little boxes and attached them to my big box. and then she put a round box on it too. and there was two ways in. the side which had the round box, but it is very small. and the top, which is square and large but very high up. i was not impressed. and then she put me inside of the box. i was unaware of what to do. the hole beside me was too small. until i went out and realized it was not too small.

but i hate this new box. i hope it goes away.